A colleague of mine became a widower two months ago after his wife, who was in her mid 30s, passed away from a rare form of cancer. He’s also in his mid 30s and they have a two-year-old son. She was diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer when her son was about to turn one and for the next year and a half, my colleague took no-pay leave to care for her and their son full-time. It was also a time to make memories and she had even planned her own funeral. Sad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
A month after the funeral, a few colleagues overheard said colleague telling his friend over the phone that he was going on a date. Frankly, we were all kinda shocked and perhaps somewhat disappointed in that he was going on a date so soon after his wife passed away. I mean, is it possible to move on so quickly??? While I don’t expect someone to grief forever, this seemed a tad fast. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Two other female colleagues and I talked about it and we concluded that this would never happen had it been the other way around. Women don’t move on so quickly. I don’t know how men are wired, but anecdotal evidence from the two colleagues I was chatting\/gossiping with seems to suggest that men really do move on much more quickly from a situation like that. Colleague A told of how her parents’ friend remarried within six months of the passing of his wife of 30+ years. Of course his adult children weren’t happy, but this man told his children that he’s been so used to having a companion that he doesn’t know how to be alone anymore. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
I almost feel I’m the opposite – I have been alone for so long that I no longer know how to be in a relationship anymore.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Anyway, I suppose people grief differently and I’m in no position, nor do I have a right, to judge. But still if my partner moved on so quickly after my passing, I swear I would come back and haunt him! Ha! Colleague A said she has a pact with her husband – they are supposed to wait at least a year before they are allowed to see other people after the other party is gone. That seems fair enough and an appropriate time to grief before moving on.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
In any case, it was a reminder to treasure our lives and to be grateful for good health. It’s a cliche but health really is wealth. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
A colleague of mine became a widower two months ago after his wife, who was in her mid 30s, passed away from a rare form of cancer. He’s also in his mid 30s and they have a two-year-old son. She … Continue reading