Is there someone you know, yet don’t know? Confusing? Here’s a scenario to illustrate.
I have a hiking friend whom I’ve hiked many times with, yet I don’t feel I really know her. The sentiment is shared by others whom both of us hang out with regularly. After all this while, all I know about her is that she’s in marketing. She has never disclosed to anyone what company she works for or details of her work nature. She never says more beyond “marketing”. Other than that, all I know about her is which suburb she lives in and that she has a sister.
Somehow the conversations with her always revolve round hiking-related stuff and never seem to venture beyond that for some reason or another. Funny thing is that she can talk a lot, but she always steers the conversations around hiking. None of us in the group know her exact age either, a detail she steadfastly refuses to disclose. I’m someone who has no qualms about disclosing my age. I mean, growing older is part of life, so why deny it? If, for some reason, you’re rejected for something or by someone because of your age, then that someone/something isn’t worth it.
Of course I don’t expect people to pour themselves out to me the first time we meet – I wouldn’t either. But for those of us who have hiked with her so many times, we are all perplexed by her secrecy. Some people can be so guarded about their personal lives. It’s as if they are putting on an armour that they refuse to peel off. I guess it’s acceptable when they don’t ask anything about yours either. In this way though, it feels like you’re never going to be truly friends with such people because they never share things about themselves.
You make yourself vulnerable to another person the moment you share things about yourself. But that trust you place in the other person who now possesses that knowledge is what friendship is about, isn’t it? Guess for some people it takes a lot more.