Cigarettes: 0 (non-smoker)
Weight: Top secret…suffice to say that there are pounds to lose
Alcohol units: 0
Calories: 3867
Gym visits: 2
Biological clock: Ticking Away
Shelf-life: Nearing sell-by date of 30
Men / Boyfriends: 0
Damn. Valentine’s day in a week’s time and am dateless. Time to call all unattached girlfriends to arrange for a girls’ night out. Prob veg out in front of the TV watching chick-flicks with gorgeous men in them. Shall continue deluding myself that men like those in the movies exist. Will place blame on Hollywood scriptwriters, who are obviously deluded females writing for equally deluded female audiences, for perpetuating myth.
Better get cracking and find myself a guy ‘cos Monkey, my prospective husband from age 40 onwards, is definitely going to find a fellow male primate going by the looks of his busy social life. Then that means I’ll have to live with the ignominy of having been dumped by a primate. Can’t let that happen.
Time to look for my little black book. But oh, just remembered that it never even existed at all. Bugger.