You know what’s frustrating about love and relationships? It’s not something you can work on on your own, no matter how hard you try, to get results. For things to work out, it requires luck in meeting the right person at the right place at the right time. It’s like the stars in the universe have to be aligned.

Why do some people have love come so easily to them while others, like moi, have it so hard? Recently, just when I thought I had met someone I could possibly pursue a relationship with, he tells me he has to move back to Australia for work (because of a sudden change in organisational structure) about one month after we started seeing each other.

Like a cyclone, he came as fast as he went. There is some damage to the heart because of his leaving, but I have no choice but to let go when circumstances make it impossible to be together. For a very short while, it didn’t feel that lonely being in Hong Kong. The heart’s still hurting and what’s compounding this heartache is the fact that I’ve been down with the flu and a nagging cough for a whole week now. And I’m STILL ill after having seen two doctors and one traditional Chinese medicine doctor.

Normally I’d use exercise to numb my mind. I’d be feeling a lot better if I were well enough to be hiking till I’m so tired that I just come home and crash into bed. But because I can’t do so, it really sucks and this is possibly the lowest point of my life in Hong Kong (yes, there was lots of crying). I also realised I have very few friends in Hong Kong whom I could really talk to in my lousiest moments. 🙁  I have to go back to this lonely existence in this city full of people and suddenly it seems to have become more difficult. It’s like someone has teased your taste buds by giving you a sample of a delicious ice cream but when you decide to buy a whole tub of it, decides not to sell it to you. Dammit.

Despite the heartache, the brief liaison was altogether a nice interruption to what has become a routine existence in Hong Kong. It felt nice to be seen and desired as a woman. It felt nice being on a date where you actually like the person and the person likes you back. Alas, this person isn’t meant to be mine.

Fate can be cruel and love can be a bitch.