A good friend of mine wrote to me a few days ago, telling me she had received an email from a guy she once used to like. A few years ago they had almost gotten together but didn’t in the end – one of those almost lovers kind of situations. Then they went about their separate lives, with him emailing her every six months or so as a friendly catch-up kind of thing.

Recently he had written to my friend to say he has left Singapore to return to his home country. In his email, he sent her a photo of something she had given him, adding that it was the only thing he had kept while he was clearing his stuff during the move.

My friend felt a little blue after receiving that email. Why? Because I think a part of us will always remain with our past loves and when something happens to trigger the memory of what you once shared, you can’t help but think of what could have been if things hadn’t turned out the way they did. There is that tinge of sadness, but I think that’s only natural, for if you didn’t feel sad, it just means the person never meant very much to you anyway. Sometimes it’s also hard being proper friends with them, especially if you were the dumpee or the one left behind; a small fraction of you lingers.

While we can grieve a little and feel wistful about the past, it’s important to look forward and towards the future and not dwell in the past. That’s what I told my friend and it’s something I’ve been telling myself every day. So it’s time to lock that part of my heart away and make room for someone else, wherever he may be. I’d like to believe he exists and is waiting to meet me, as I him. 🙂