It is highly probable that one of the greatest regrets of my life is that I never got to be a mother. The biological clock is ticking and looking at the (dismal) record of my love(less) life, it’s a reality that looms ever larger as the days go by. I have had good friends who have suggested the following:

1. Adoption

This is a definitely a no for me as adoption is a difficult process in Singapore, especially for a single woman.

2. Single mother

Become a single mother by either getting myself pregnant through a sperm donor or a hook-up. Erm, no. Not that desperate to the point of having a random man father a child.

3. Freeze ovaries

Just in case I meet someone in future and want a child, at least my frozen eggs will be younger and of a better quality. Too expensive and too painful. So, no.

Well, all those options are definitely not for me. The bottom line is that I don’t want to be a single mother out of choice, though I do salute women who choose to do so. Bringing up a child is difficult enough an undertaking with two people, not to mention one. I don’t think I have the ability to care for a child on my own.

I guess I could “console” myself by telling myself:

1. Not bringing another human being into this world is an environmentally friendly thing to do.

2. I can probably retire earlier without a child. Hopefully. (Retiring might not be a possibility with the high cost of living!)

3. I still have family and friends for companions in old age.

I also feel rather bad that I have “deprived” my parents of a chance of grand-parenthood. I think they would make wonderful, doting grandparents. Unfortunately, no grandchild(ren) has materialised.

In Chinese, there is a saying, 可欲不可求, meaning to say you may desire something, but you can’t force it to happen. Guess motherhood is just one of those things in life.