“My mother won’t allow me to go to Budapest alone,” wrote a 26-year-old classmate of mine on the whatsapp message.

When I read that, a look of incredulity crept up on my face. I had imaginary “!?!?!?” appear at the top of my head. I mean, if she had just said she didn’t want to go alone because it was something she herself didn’t want to do, I would have accepted that as a personal preference. But a 26-year-old adult getting permission on where she can and cannot go in a society like Hong Kong just baffles me.

I stopped asking for permission long ago. By my late teens, I was informing – as opposed to asking for permission – my parents where I was travelling to. To their credit, my parents trusted me to make my own decisions and I was never a wild child anyway. I mean, I would seek their opinion on matters, but ultimately the decision would lie with me. As a result, I have become a very independent person who can travel and live abroad on my own.

However it seems as if some people are like a kite that is still bound to the kite spool. How high or far they fly depends on how much line their parents are willing to release. It’s a pity that some parents have put restrictions in certain ways, and a pity that the child has allowed such restrictions to be enforced on him/her. Somehow I feel that such restrictions would limit a child’s life experiences.

I think I was/am a kite that is hard to control. I’m thankful my parents have always let me find my own way, even if sometimes my line gets entangled in obstacles and must fall back to the ground. I know they are always around to pick me up and reel me back if needed. As I grew older,  I became a kite that broke free and ended up riding the wind to faraway lands.

The kite that is me is still riding the wind. But I still remember the spool to which I belong; an invisible line that links back to the spool is always there. However, it is a line of sentiment and a sense of belonging, rather than one of control.