Us four bushwalkers were in a car zipping down the road towards the Blue Mountains. We had set off early – 6:20am – from the city as the driver and the other guy in front, both enthusiasts, wanted to have a photo stop along the way to take photos of the sunrise. At some point, we stopped and parked the car along the side of the road. By this time, the sky on the east had taken on various shades of deep gold, orange and yellow, lighting up the line of trees in the distance and highlighting their silhouettes. The three guys immediately whipped out their smart phones to snap pictures from various angles and positions along the long fence that marked that plot of land as someone’s property. I, on the other hand, didn’t bring my phone and instead decided I wanted to just watch the sunrise. 

“Why are you just watching?”, asked one of the guys. 

“Because it’s worth watching,” I shrugged and replied.

 

I love the smartphone. It’s a great invention that has brought a lot of convenience. I depend a lot on it to organise my life. I use it as a watch, organiser, camera, book reader etc. Yet for all its wonderful features, the smartphone is a bane and a boon. Why can’t people just put it down for a moment and just enjoy the scene for what it is instead of looking at it through a lens, obsessing over recording every single second or thing. Surely such a beautiful sunrise deserves some quiet contemplation of how amazing Mother Nature is?

I hate that people have become so obsessed with themselves, what with the constant updating of statuses on Facebook/Snapchat/Twitter and the incessant taking of the perfect selfies. I hate that people seem to be more interested in their phones than with the people who are actually physically with them. Just two days ago I called out a friend on his lack of respect for me by being constantly obsessed with his phone when he was with me. For the past few months, every time I met up with him he would always be carrying on a million and one Whatsapp conversations while I was in his company. I was already annoyed by this for awhile but the final straw was last week when I was seated next to him while waiting for a ferry and he started looking at his smartphone again.

“What are you reading?”, I asked.

“Just looking at the Meetup app to see what are the latest events and if there are any interesting ones I’ve missed,” he replied.

I was instantly miffed and pissed off. Like HELLO, *I* AM YOUR MEETUP! I wanted to say “f**k you” to him. Like what am I? Invisible? When we got on the ferry, he continued to look at his phone. At which point I decided to ignore him and stare out at the boats in the harbour instead. I didn’t call him out on it that day but the more I thought about it the more pissed off I felt. So a week later, I told this friend that I was livid that he was always on his smartphone. It showed a lack of respect for my time and presence. Call me old school, but when I choose to be out with someone, it’s because I value the person’s company. And I make the effort to put away my phone unless necessary. It’s because I believe in being in the moment with that person. When the other party doesn’t extend the same courtesy to me, I feel that my presence isn’t valued. It also made me feel like shit that a meetup app and a million other Whatsapp conversations were more interesting than me. Which ok, I can accept that they are in some form or another, but I would have appreciated it if my friend – and I told him so – could have made it seem less obvious.

I didn’t know what my friend’s reaction would be after I told him that through a Whatsapp message. All I knew was that I was prepared to lose this friendship if this friend of mine couldn’t or wouldn’t make the effort to be courteous to me. I refuse to let someone make me feel like I don’t matter. I’m just old school – to me it’s not ok to be constantly on your smartphone when you’re with someone else. When you’re with someone, you’re supposed to be interacting with that person and not with others on an app. What’s the point of meeting up otherwise?

I also couldn’t understand what was with my friend’s FOMO. He’s around my age, i.e. close to 40, but still acting so immature with this constant need to keep up with the latest events and fearing that he’s missing out on the next exciting event. *eye roll*

But to his credit, this is the reply I got from him this morning – “I don’t find what you’re saying unreasonable in the least. Let’s see if I’m better at this in the future. (I intend to try).”

Frankly, I never thought I was unreasonable; in fact I thought I was being perfectly reasonable! I really wanted to send a retort to this, but fine, I’ll let this pass. Well, the jury’s still out on this friend or should I say friendship! Because I’d rather be alone – and I have no problem with that – than be hanging out with someone who makes me feel invisible.