I hate the fact I’m stuck at home waiting for A to return home after his outdoor climb. I hate that I can’t get outside of this damn apartment without his help.

It’s already past two in the afternoon, I haven’t had my lunch and what was supposed to be “I’ll back in the early afternoon” on a perfectly nice and sunny Saturday is turning out to be back by mid/late afternoon at best. I don’t know if I’m entitled to be annoyed at him, but I just am.

I hate that I can’t sit outside in a park and look up at the blue skies. Instead I’m stuck indoors looking out through a window like a trapped animal.

This sucks. This really sucks.

I want to get out to get some fresh air and sunshine. But I’m f**king stuck.

I hate my loss of independence. I f**king hate it. I need to get out of this cage. I understand how animals in zoos feel. They are bored out of their minds from captivity and the tedium of the same surrounds day in day out. I understand how the elderly who are stuck in nursing and aged care homes feel. It’s a mindless and tedious countdown to the day’s end.

I hate that my mum and good friends are visiting soon and I can’t spend time with them in the way I’d like.

Argh.