Now that I live alone and have a spare room, I decided when I moved into this flat that I’d host Couchsurfers as a way of giving back to the community and meeting travellers. I tried Couchsurfing four years ago while travelling in Europe at the time when I was living in London and had met really lovely people through it, so I thought I had to do my part for the community. So far I have hosted three people and I liked two of them but didn’t have a good impression of the second one.
I’m very selective of the people I choose to host. I get requests every other day because HK is not a city where many people host simply because people probably don’t even have enough space for themselves, let alone a guest, what with the miniscule flats that exist here.
On my profile, I state that I will only host one person at any one time even though I can easily host three, but really that’d be too much work not to mention a lot of money forked out on my part to pay for electricity, water and gas bills. I state that I’m not located right in the heart of town so the place is not suitable for anyone wanting to check out HK’s night life. I also specify NO SMOKING and that I won’t host people who plan to return in the wee hours of the night as I go to bed by 12 midnight (actually more like 1am but they don’t have to know that).
I only choose to host people when I know that they have read my profile. Often you get people who don’t read your profile and are just sending out the same email to god knows how many people they are trying to find a couch to surf on. I can tell if people have read my profile or not by what they write in their message to me.
Firstly it’s definitely a NO for people who just write ‘Hi, I want a couch to surf…’. Come on, at least put a name OK. That just reeks of insincerity. I also won’t bother to host people who write ‘Hi Joan Ho’. Sorry, that’s rude too…addressing someone by her full name. I’m an editor and writer. I take note of such things. Sorry if it pisses anyone off for such anal retentive tendencies. But THAT’S why I do what I do. I also tend not to host men as I think I have to be more careful as a single woman living alone. I may host someone only if he is verified by many people on their profile or if he’s a friend of someone I know. While a level of trust exists among the community for Couchsurfing to work, one can never be too careful about such things.
It’s also a no if someone writes and asks me to host them and their friend. Obviously didn’t read my profile. Or if they ask to stay for more than two nights it’s a no too as I specify that I’ll only host for two nights. Contrary to what you may think, hosting takes effort. I mean you can’t not talk to the person and just leave them to their own devices. One 21-year-old Brit was even hinting that maybe I could host him for an entire month while he was here on a teaching summer programme, and that maybe we could get to know each other better during that time and come to an ‘agreement’. Yah right dude. You have nothing good to offer me in return so what grounds do you have to negotiate? I don’t think so my dear. And really, I have no interest in getting to know you better.
Couchsurfing is essentially about cultural exchange and helping out fellow travellers who are – supposedly, you’d hope anyway – interested in getting to know more about you and vice versa. And when I host anyone, I feel the need to be a good host and make sure their stay is a comfortable one. I also want to share about Singapore, Hong Kong and Chinese culture.
I’ve also decided that I won’t host anyone below 30. My second surfer was an unappreciative 25-year-old American chick from San Francisco who didn’t even bother to show me any appreciation whatsoever. I mean, come on, at least buy me dinner. But no, nothing like that at all. I think these young Americans just take for granted that since you decide to host, you shouldn’t expect any form of appreciation or return. Other young 20-somethings have written, but I’ve decided they are too young and jumpy for this 30-something old soul that is me. I wouldn’t have anything to say to them and really, I don’t want to be reminded of my bygone years when everything seemed possible and the world was my oyster! And oh, it’s also a no for people who don’t bother to put up a picture of themselves and write a little more about themselves in their profile to give people an idea of who they are. If you can’t even be bothered to do that, don’t expect me to open my door to you just like that.
At least the other two surfers I hosted were nice. They treated me to a meal and the American lady from Florida whom I hosted a few days ago (she’s close to my mum’s age at 58) even bought me a bunch of flowers, a scented candle and some bread for breakfast. Well, rightly so, because I had rescued her from a really bad situation. I was actually supposed to be her backup host as she already had a couch to surf on. Thankfully she had the foresight to set herself up with a backup host as she had found herself in a disaster.
Her original host was a single 35-year-old American guy (she’d thought she’d be safe with a fellow English-speaking American) who turned out to be some egoistic creep who had his underwear and porn magazines strewn around his flat and was a marijuana-smoking (it’s illegal to do so may I add) one while at it. She told me he was an investment banker (more like wanker if you ask me) who thought the world of himself and also saw himself as god’s gift to women. *finger in throat* Typical white trash behaviour displayed only when they are in Asia I tell you.
And to top it off, he told her she had to share the small room on the second night with a lesbian couple that he was going to host as well. Right… I think he was trying to drive her out the moment he realised he wasn’t going to sleep with her. So the poor lady was so scared in the first night she was there and decided to make a run for it the next day. So that was where I came in, and became the good Samaritan. I mean, I had to readjust my entire schedule for her OK. But at least I knew she was very appreciative of my help and she turned out to be a very nice person to talk to.
I’ve been very polite all this while in answering every request I get, mostly to reject them and give some reason for doing so. E.g. I have visitors, I’m busy so it’s inconvenient, I’m already hosting someone. But now I’ve decided I won’t bother to reply if I know the person hasn’t read my profile or just sounds plain rude or egoistic, or has no picture. I don’t want to waste my time with such people nor am I inclined to help them out. Like too bad, go sort yourself out since you chose to travel here. I only choose to help sincere people.
While I host people and have surfed before, I don’t think I’d surf again when I travel. I prefer staying in a hostel/hotel where I can come and go as I like. I prefer contacting Couchsurfers just to have a meal or have them show me around their city for a few hours, which is what I did when I was in Taipei last year. It’s also a great way of meeting locals and most people are happy to oblige.
But to all my family and friends out there who are reading this, you are always more than welcome to stay with me. Don’t worry, you won’t be subjected to all the criteria above!