I was having dinner with a single girlfriend (who’s a transplanted Singaporean in HK like me) on Friday night and we were chatting about how long we would be staying in HK for and where our lives would take us. My friend then commented that single people are too free so we end up philosophising about things like the meaning of life all the time.
I thought about it and realised it’s quite true – at least for myself. I always seem to be thinking about where my life is heading, what is it that I’m really meant to do with my life, and is what I’m doing now really what I’m happy with? You get the drift. These questions twirl around in my head all the time, especially when I’m sitting at my work desk in a goliath of an accounting firm where I’m just a number in the books, identified by my staff number.
Many single friends I know ponder these questions all the time; many of us have no answers. Contrast this to our married peers, especially those with kids. For those who are mothers, a job is merely a means to an end for them to pay the bills for their children’s education and other living expenses. They don’t want to work overtime nor do they chase after some big promotion. All they want is that regular pay cheque and to be able to get off on the dot so they can go home to their kids asap. Everything is about the children – that’s THEIR meaning of life. A girlfriend of mine in Singapore spends her whole day planning and cooking her one-year-old daughter’s meals, and taking the kid to playschool and swimming lessons. That’s become her life and her focus, and she doesn’t bother pondering about where she’s heading in her career and if her life has meaning.
Same story for other girlfriends of mine who have become mothers in the past few years. Is it right to be constantly pondering? Should I even bother? Wouldn’t it be easier to just have things remain status quo and live out my life as a word cruncher in this accounting giant and turn into furniture there? Frankly I don’t know, I haven’t thought that far. I just know the idea of it doesn’t sound THAT appealing. It seems like I have a problem with status quo. ;p
My friend and I were also saying that single people also tend to have short-term views of the future. Our plans generally do not extend beyond two years. Frankly, six months ago if you had asked me where I saw myself in the next one year, no let’s make that six months, I certainly wouldn’t have said Hong Kong! See, that’s how short-term my plans are. But OK, now I can tell you that I’ll be in Hong Kong for the next two years at least. That’s as far into the future as I’ll go for now.
I guess identifying and finding that thing / person / entity you want to live for is key to making life a little more meaningful and purpose-driven. Meanwhile, I continue searching…