“Kao Gong” (舅公 / granduncle), as my sis and I would call him, was the grandfather we never really had. Our paternal and maternal grandfathers had respectively passed away when we were toddlers and when my mum was six.

I spent alot of time at his home in the first seven years of my life. When my mum returned to work after maternity leave, his wife, whom I call Com Por (舅婆), was my caregiver during the day. The same went for my sister. So the both of us grew to be very close to his family. It’s also thanks to the time we spent with my Com Por and Kao Gong that I learnt how to speak Cantonese which, needless to say, is extremely beneficial now that I live in Hong Kong.

What I remember most affectionately about Kao Gong is that he used to entertain my sister and me by picking us up and swirling us into the air. As young children, that was incredibly good fun. He doted on both of us and that love was also extended to our pet, Twiggy, a white poodle who was also dropped off along with us every morning by my parents. We were like a package deal – two giggly young girls and a dog.

Chinese New Year reunion dinners used to be with him and his family as well. But as my sis and I got older, we didn’t need that kind of care anymore and so we saw less of Kao Gong, Com Por and their family. But that’s not to say we haven’t kept in touch.

About two years ago, Kao Gong was diagnosed with bladder cancer. This soon spread to other parts of his body. On Sunday 1 June, Kao Gong passed away in his home, finally ceding his battle with the disease. I booked my ticket back to Singapore that very night and flew back a few hours later; I felt it was only right to see Kao Gong off on his final journey.

Goodbye Kao Gong, the grandfather I really knew.