“No. Contented. But unfulfilled. No children. I’m very good on my own. And I manage, I think, pretty well. But it takes courage.”

~ Anita Brookner (1928 – 2016), novelist and art historian, on being asked if she was lonely in her final interview

I felt a dull ache in my heart as I read this quote from Brookner. As someone who never married and remained childless her whole life, Brookner was one who could eloquently – and convincingly – bring across the convoluted mix of emotions as a single woman.

At this point in my life, a few years shy of 40 and having been on my own for many years, I can identify with what Brookner said above. Many of my friends have gotten married and started a family, and while I would like to have that for myself, I’m beginning to accept the fact that it may not happen for me. Yes, there is a sense of being unfulfilled, the not having a chance at experiencing companionate love and motherhood. But I think the contentment that Brookner spoke of comes with acceptance.

I’m getting better at this acceptance thing. Like Brookner, I, too, think I manage pretty well on my own. And yes, it does take courage. Heaps, truck loads of it. For what else can I do but give myself a pep talk, pick myself up and carry on? Self-pity is of no help and the acceptance of that unfulfilled component of my life is the only way to move forward.

But I think the important thing for me to remember is that there are many ways to live a full and meaningful life. 🙂