A good friend in Singapore today messaged: “There’s no need to be a hero | sometimes it’s ok to be a zero”, after I told her I have been trying to reduce my intake of painkillers but when the pain hits, it’s brutal. It’s like I can feel the plate and screws in my foot.

Indeed, it’s not just the pain, but it extends to all the sports that I enjoy. From jogging, bushwalking, canyoning and rock climbing all within a week to nothing. From 100 to zero all of a sudden takes getting used to and a lot of adjustment. My world has become smaller.

Over the weekend, I got my hands on a wheelchair and that has made it easier for A to wheel me around places where there are ramps. We managed to go to Castle Hill Heritage Reserve on Saturday evening where he went running while I waited, seated in the wheelchair and enjoying the sun and the breeze. On Sunday morning we went to the Cumberland State Forest for him to go trail running while I waited for him at Cafe Saligna (which is nestled within the State Forest) where I had breakfast and my soy cappuccino. He’s now also able to push me to the park right next to where we live.

Getting out helps to lift my spirits and these are the only things I can do at the moment. And yes, while it’s sometimes ok to be a zero, I don’t want to remain there for long.