I feel broken; I am broken. Both physically and emotionally.

26 January 2023 will forever be etched in my memory, not because it was the Australia Day public holiday, but because it was the day I hurt myself badly enough while out canyoning at the Blue Mountains that I needed a helicopter rescue.

The morning started out well with A, myself and another friend setting out on what was a perfect day for canyoning. After having done about five abseils, I was walking along the flat bit of the canyon when my right foot stepped into a pothole about 30-40cm deep which I didn’t see. The force in the sudden shift in body weight and balance was enough to snap the bones and ligaments in my left mid foot. At that point I didn’t know my injury was that serious – I was still thinking it was a simple sprain.

But I had to make my way to the end of the canyon. What would have taken me 30min to do, saw me taking about 1.5 hours to hobble through the rest of the canyon. By the time I got to the end, I was only able to shimmy on my butt as I couldn’t put any weight on my left foot.

A and our friend assessed the situation and rightly decided I wasn’t able to make my way out, which required a multi-pitch rock climb and a three-hour walk back to our car. The only recourse was to set off our Personal Location Beacon (PLB).

Thankfully our PLB worked and 1.5 hours later we saw a NSW Police helicopter coming towards us. By this time, another group of three had just completed the canyon, and so our friend exited the canyon with them while A stayed with me. I can’t begin to describe the wave of relief that washed over me when I saw the helicopter. It meant A and I wouldn’t have to spend the night in the canyon, even though we had enough food, water and warm clothing to do so (we are always prepared for such a situation).

The NSW Police, PolAir, winched us up the helicopter after putting a harness on us and giving us helmets as well as goggles to wear. To pilot a helicopter in challenging terrain such as a canyon with its narrow walls is a real skill and I’m so thankful such rescue services are available to bushwalkers.

I didn’t expect my first ever ride in a helicopter to be one that belongs to the NSW Police. Despite my pain and distress, the amazing aerial views during the ride across the Grose Valley weren’t lost on me. It’s not every day one gets to have such spectacular views of the Blue Mountains!

After the helicopter landed, I was taken by ambulance to the Katoomba hospital Accident & Emergency ward. I ended up staying there for eight hours before X-ray and CT scans showed I had broken four bones and key ligaments in my mid foot, all of which required surgery to fix. More specifically, I suffered an open reduction Lisfranc injury. Even a minor Lisfranc injury is considered serious, and having broken four bones, mine was considered a major Lisfranc injury. So I did a really bad number on myself.

I had to wait 11 days to have surgery as my foot was too swollen to be operated on straight after the accident. I learnt that the skin on the foot needs to be loose enough to have some wrinkles when pressed, otherwise it is at risk of bursting and infecting the wound after being stitched. I ended up having surgery on Monday (6 February) morning to have two screws and two plates put into my mid foot to put the bones and ligaments back in place. If left to heal without surgery, the likelihood of the foot collapsing is high as the bones in the mid foot are responsible for holding up the arch of the foot. Arthritis is also highly likely to occur, though surgery only helps to reduce its probability.

Throughout this whole ordeal, I’ve been thankful that I live in a developed country with first-class healthcare and medical facilities. It was my first time having surgery of any kind, and knowing I’d be well cared for in a good hospital and being operated on by a surgeon who knew what he was doing was a huge relief.

Since being injured, I’ve been staying at home most of the time, unable to get out much. My world has become much smaller and for someone who’s used to being out and about, it has been a difficult adjustment. I’m now moving around in crutches and have got a knee scooter. Learning to get around with these two mobility devices has had its challenges. I’ve also had to buy a shower tool to aid in washing up. The sudden loss of independence and mobility has been difficult to get used to, both physically and emotionally. If not for A being around, there’s no way I would have been able to cope on my own. I would probably have had to book myself a ticket back to Singapore and spend the next few months recuperating there.

I’m now back home and have received gifts and well wishes from friends in Australia and overseas, all of which have been a huge source of comfort. The painkillers have had me drifting in and out of sleep a lot these past few days. The pain, especially straight after surgery, was just mind-blowing and brutal. I’ve never been in such pain before – even hard-hitting opioids didn’t seem to take the edge off. As I write, it’s now Day 5 post-surgery and I’m managing better. I think. But it still feels like a really bad dream.

I’m now able to understand the challenges people with disabilities face in everyday life. Ramps and flat surfaces are such a godsend. Space to manoeuvre is always welcomed.

Trips to the supermarket are now a treat – I’ve come to appreciate their wide and smooth aisles which make zipping around in a knee scooter easy. The Coles supermarket is only a three-minute walk from my home in normal times, but now it would take me 20min with the help of A to get there.

Sydney’s parks are places that I can still visit to get some sun. It will be a long road to recovery with this sort of injury. I have to be in a plaster cast for 8 weeks after surgery, and if things look good, I would be put in a moon boot for the next couple of months. Minimally it would take six months to have the leg be weight-bearing again, and it could take up to a year or more before I can walk without the use of a moon boot.

But with all injuries, one’s body will never be 100% again. Before my injury, jogging, rock climbing, canyoning and bushwalking would be all part of my week’s activities. Now all my gear and shoes have been packed away. It’s been hard going from all that to nothing and tears have been shed. I also feel bad for A, taking him away from activities he loves. For the next few months, we have to learn to work out the best routine for us so that he is able to keep sane while being a care-giver.

Perhaps it’s time to find new indoor hobbies. A talked about getting me a ukelele so I could learn how to play it. I guess it would also be a good time for me to write and read more.

For now, it’s time to take things slow.