He wasn’t my first choice when my family and I were at the pet shop looking for a puppy to buy. I wanted a Jack Russell Terrier but was outvoted by the rest of my family because Jack Russells were too active. The family decided we wanted a poodle because poodles were intelligent, as evidenced by our first dog, Twiggy (who had passed on the year before). At the pet shop, we spotted a very alert and active apricot coloured three-month-old poodle who had been born in Adelaide, Australia. He stole our hearts straight away as he bounced around in his cage and looked at us with his cute button eyes.

We named him Pepe (pronounced pare-pee); I can’t even remember how we arrived at that name. I guess it just sounded cute and it suited him as he was just ‘cute’ personified. Pepe was a small brown furball that fitted right in the palm of our hands. The first night we brought him home, we placed him in a little rectangular ‘nursery’ made up of four fences we had set up for him in the hall. Our other dog, Rex, a sable coloured collie,  was sleeping somewhere else around the house.

Perhaps he was unaccustomed to being all alone, Pepe then began crying so loudly once we had all gone to our rooms. It was so loud that I couldn’t get to sleep and I went into the hall to look on him. I decided to lie down on the bench next to his nursery and sensing my presence, he quietened down. I ended up spending the night on that bench and subsequently he never spent another night in that makeshift nursery of his. Instead, he slept in my parents’ or my room together with Rex.

Pepe was also a bundle of energy and a feisty dog who was unafraid of confronting dogs two or three times his size. He would disturb and irritate Rex (who was much bigger) all the time. But Rex, bless his patient soul, would let it pass. Every once in awhile, when Rex decided enough was enough, he would make his displeasure felt by snapping at Pepe who would in turn back off with a whimper.

From about 1998-2001, I was doing a lot of photography and was also experimenting with black and white film with my SLR, and my most photographed subjects were my two dogs. Pepe was an active dog who loved chasing after the tennis balls we threw for him to play fetch. He was a possessive dog who wouldn’t just drop the ball in front of us after he had gone to fetch it. We had to pry the ball from his mouth. Sometimes he would hide the ball and we would be made to find it.

In May 2003, when Pepe was five, he came down with Intervertebral Disk Disease (IVDD). I was studying in Sydney back then and my parents called to tell me that Pepe’s spinal cord had snapped and he had to be hospitalised as his hind legs were paralysed. As operating on him would only give him a 50 percent chance of survival, the doctors suggested the use of steroids instead. If he didn’t respond to the steroids within 24 hours, his chances of survival would be extremely slim.

Thankfully, this feisty little dog responded to the steroids and the vets were actually doubtful he would walk again. Showing an incredible will to live, Pepe managed to walk on all fours again with the help of my parents who massaged his hind legs every day and gave him heat treatment to aid his recovery. This dog is one fiery fighter and even the vets were surprised at his recovery. Pepe’s hind legs were never the same as they couldn’t really bend when he stood up. Though he managed to stand on all fours, he would always walk and run unsteadily after the IVDD incident. IVDD also led him to have incontinence and a host of other skin problems because some of his nerves were damaged.

Over the years, as Pepe grew older and needed more special care because of his condition, my parents were his main caregivers as my sis and I were often not in Singapore. Much credit has to be given to my parents for their dedication and hard work in taking care of Pepe (and Rex, my sister and me). I used to take both dogs for walks together and they would be whelping in joy every time they saw me taking out their leashes from the box in which they were stored. I miss those times and wished I had a dog in Hong Kong. However, I know it wouldn’t be fair for me to have one as I wouldn’t be able to spend enough time with it.

In the last year or so, Pepe’s physical condition had been deteriorating because of his old age and he was also sleeping a lot. In the last two months of his life, he had lost interest in food – he used to want to eat everything – and didn’t even want to drink any water. His weight had also dropped a lot. Yesterday, my mum and sis brought him to the vet as he wasn’t drinking any water. Tests showed that his organs were failing and toxins in his blood were beginning to give him seizures. Although I would have liked to be able to say goodbye to Pepe when I’m back in Singapore for a visit on Friday, I know putting him out of his pain as soon as possible would be the kindest thing to do. I told my mum that it was ok to tell the doctor to put him to sleep; I only wished I could have been back sooner.

Dearest Pepe, thank you for the memories and happiness you brought to our family and to all those who knew you. Thank you for loving us with all your heart, and thank you for showing us what bravery was with your fighting spirit and determination to live. If I had half your spirit, I would be so proud of myself. I hope you’re having fun with Rex and the rest of your friends up there. xoxoxo